I’d like to thank the Academy…..
Every year for a few days after the Oscar telecast I walk around muttering my own personal acceptance speech under my breath. I think about who I would thank and what I would say, how I would use that world stage to express gratitude for the people in my life who helped me along the way and those who shaped me into the person I am today without ever knowing - really, how else could you address Bob Dylan? People joke about staring into the bathroom mirror and thanking the Academy while in the midst of their morning routine. Let me tell you, I’ve never met a mirror that wasn’t subjected to my grandiose ramblings of gratitude. It’s silly really. I’m not an actor or a filmmaker, so the chances of ever clasping that little gold man in my hands remains slim to none. But who doesn’t want to win an Oscar? Wouldn’t it be just grand to get all dolled up, stroll down the red carpet, hobknob with the creme de la creme of Hollywood and then exit with the words “Academy Award winner” forever attached to your name?
I care more about the Oscars than I do Christmas. I’ve actually told employers that they had a better chance of me coming into work on Christmas Day than on Oscar night. I’m not exactly sure how or when I came to the conclusion that I loved this evening more than any other on the calendar. The Oscars have always been in my life - I don’t remember ever not watching them. It was just something we did. And then it turned into work - seeing all the nominated films (and living on the Southside of Chicago this was no easy task) before the big show, studying the players, handicapping the race, preparing the homemade ballots, devising a points system for the Oscar pool to ensure that the folks blindly making their picks had some sort of chance against those of us treating the exercise like a final exam. Rob’s Super Bowl comparison is spot on. I’m not much of a sports fan, but I’ve always shared a kindredship with those able to rattle off stats and pinpoint specific moments in a game’s history because I have a ridiculous capacity to retain random Oscar trivia.
I love the glamour. I love the fashion. I love recognizing the folks who work 
behind the scenes on a film - despite the fact that most viewers deem this portion of the show as an excellent time to take a break. I love the speeches and impromtu moments (Jack Palance dropping to the floor for a one-armed push-up). I love kicking everyone’s ass in the Oscar pool (although this year will go down as my lowest scoring ever).
Most of all, I love when my own opinions are validated by a win. Whether it’s “Braveheart,” “Rain Man” or “Shakespeare In Love.” Whether it’s Daniel Day-Lewis in “There Will Be Blood” or Robin Williams in “Good Will Hunting.” Whether it’s Bob Dylan for “Wonder Boys” or Glen Hansard for “Once” - these films, performances and songs moved me beyond anything else released in a given year and warranted recognition.
In the end it’s all subjective. Does the best man always win? No (hello Mickey Rourke). Does winning an Oscar change your life? Sometimes, as it affords an actor more job opportunities, but Timothy Hutton didn’t exactly parlay his moment in the spotlight into an A-list career. Does watching the ceremony in its entirety make you a better person? Definitely not, but it’s nice to participate in a shared event and join the collective conversation the following morning. With DVRs changing the way people watch TV, the Oscars stand out in a dwindling pool of appointment viewing candidates.
Even Bob Dylan carries his Oscar with him out on tour, displaying the statue (or at least a convincing replica) on an amp behind him as he performs night after night. This simple gesture speaks volumes about the weight the award carries.
I’m just happy to be along for the ride…with a speech at the ready.